Keeping the Goulash: A Tradition

Since today is a traditional day (It's my birthday), I feel like posting something relating to tradition... here's what I wrote on the plane home from Prague yesterday:

As I sit on the airplane writing this, my stomach still is in intestinal arrest. I'm pretty sure that it isn't angry at me, it is just a little tired from this last weekend in Prague, Czech Republic. I took this trip to Prague because of the European Baseball Coaches Association Convention. I'm all for professional development, and the convention was fantastic, but no coaches' speech was as good as the Czech food and beer I experienced each night. Let me tell you about it.

For those who don't know, Czech food is extremely dense and heavy... and each menu item is literally labeled in grams so you know exactly how much food you're receiving when you order. Typically, each Czech dish is an assortment of some cut of pork (or multiple cuts of pork... sometimes duck or goose), a few dumplings (usually made of potato or bread), sauerkraut, onions, and a rich dark sauce made from the remnants of all the cooked meat. And typically, you eat all of this with a few 0.5 liter dark or light-colored Czech beers, many times made in house or just down the street. There is not much variety between Czech restaurants, and the subtle differences between different breweries' beers make you want to walk all around the city trying to find the best one (side note: impossible to do). Yet, for some reason, when I was in Prague this weekend, I saw tourists filling up Italian restaurants and TGI Friday's every night. I'd like to give some of them the benefit of the doubt in that maybe after one entire week in Prague, tourists might want a little change from the traditional fare (not me... but I can understand... or at least make that observation). This brings me to my thesis for this post: When you're in a city that is known for a specific local cuisine that has been rooted in its culinary history for years, you need to eat that food often. And secondly, I really hope that these cuisines always stay to their traditional roots despite the fact that almost all culinary needs can be met in any country with the technology available currently.

Let's talk about eating locally, and moreover, choosing restaurant-specific menu items. First, if you are traveling in Miami, you better be eating Cuban food and fish... and then going to the beach and losing your mind in a ridiculous salsa dance. There's a reason Will Smith got so excited about Miami latin culture that he felt it necessary to include a salty lyric in one of his songs (“Welcome to Miami... Bienvenidos a Miami”... and Will Smith was/is the man while we're at it). Moving on, if you're in Memphis, you better be eating ribs and other barbecue, and then following that up with some whiskey shots and open mic performances. If you're in New England, go to Maine and eat a lobster roll, get off your butt and eat some pancakes with Vermont maple syrup, then head to Rhode Island and slurp up some chowder (clear broth or cream... who really cares it's all good). If you're in France, eat the cheese, drink the wine, yell at some people/be generally annoyed, and indulge on some beefy cuts of steak. If you're in Prague, find a good bowl of Goulash and drink a few beers in a crowded and rambunctious beer cave. IT'S JUST WHAT YOU DO. And if you don't do this, then why are you going all of these places? For the hotel WiFi? I didn't think so... and if you are going for the hotel WiFi, you either need to quit your job or see a mental health professional.

Going further, the same cuisine/environment specific approach needs to be taken when you're staying in your home town eating out at a local restaurant. My biggest pet peeve is when I invite someone to go to my favorite barbecue place (still up for debate between institutions in Key Largo, Charlotte, Portland OR, Washington DC, and Boston) and they order a burger or a Caesar salad. When ill-advised decisions like these are made in my presence, I literally feel like jumping across the table and pouring barbecue sauce on my guest(s)' head to remind them that they are in a barbecue establishment. What's worse, is when I'm enjoying my pulled pork sandwich and hush puppies and I get a remark about how my guest doesn't think the food is that impressive. OF COURSE IT'S NOT... YOU'RE EATING A SALAD AT A PLACE WHERE AN ENTIRE PIG IS ROASTING OVER AN OPEN FIRE WITH A SPIKE THROUGH ITS MOUTH... I DON'T THINK REX, WHOSE BEEN ROASTING PIGS SINCE THE EARLY 60's, IS THE SALAD TOSSING TYPE... NOT REALLY THE PLACE YOU ORDER A NICE BOWL OF GREENS, NANCY (Reference: Nancy is a name I use in general for people who I feel are missing the point in something... or just being unintelligent in general). You get my point, and if you don't, it's simple. Go to places that are known for something and stay in the realm of their specialty. And if you don't have that knowledge, just ask the server what you should get and they'll usually point you in the right direction.

Transitioning to my second mini-thesis (also can be referred to as a HYPOthesis), I am very scared that with all of the incredible advances in culinary technology, local cuisines will stray from their roots. It's a very controversial concept for me – this advancement in culinary popularity and technology. On the one hand, both home cooks and restauranteurs have an incredible wealth of resources available to them: the internet, the food network, ingredients from afar, artisan cookware, straight from the source meat, etc. On the other hand, people living close to the coast are no longer required to base their diet on fish, and people from Idaho can eat more than potatoes. My greatest fear is that my joy of regional eating will vanish because everyone everywhere will be cooking a new blended cuisine with no real identity. One positive of this situation is that the quality of food preparation in general will continue to rise without a doubt. The wealth of knowledge, resources, and general interest in cooking these days is steadily climbing (I didn't look up any statistics to prove that, but I'm pretty sure of it). But I want to make an argument for the little guys... for the Alsatian grandmother who whips up an outrageous Choucroute Garnie... for the Hawaii dad grilling some pineapple pork and macaroni salad... for anyone who actually cooks Naan in that big stone heat bowl... because I know that these guys make it better than anyone can in Iowa or Istanbul.

I'll leave you with a simple statement: Eat something Italian in Italy, ask your server what's good at your local Italian joint, and don't even think you can tell me that someone in your hometown can make better Cannelloni than someone from the Big Boot. Let's let the Italians keep doing that... because they're better than you.*

*DISCLAIMER – I'm not saying you shouldn't cook because you suck... I'm just saying you should respect those who can Party Rock Anthem Shuffle around you in the kitchen.