Engagement Post

I recently became engaged. And very fitting for me (and this blog), the engagement ceremonies included a post-decision smorgasbord of breakfast at Lou's in Hanover, New Hampshire. I do not know why anyone reading would end up in Hanover, New Hampshire, but if you do, go to Lou's. It just makes you feel good. It's a classic diner in all the sense... waitresses ripping cigarettes between orders, coffee burnt to hell and served by the gallon, the bar filled with cops and workers escaping the cold for a cup of burnt Joe, and most importantly, good old-fashioned oily buttery breakfast food. And when I was thinking about HOW to pop the question to the old lady, all of my ideas included breakfast, and strangely, diners. I ended up including New Hampshire Lou's as the final choice, but there was one other option.

The fiancee and I were really good friends before we started dating. Met in college, hung out all the time, got along great, and remained friends for over a year. Then we decided to take a "friendly" trip to Rhode Island to visit one of my friends at Brown University in Providence. The car ride felt different, the drinking games with my buddy felt different, and after only a day, it was clear that this little road trip was causing a bit of an upheaval in our traditional friendship. The last day of the road trip, we were staying in Newport, Rhode Island at the fiancee's family home. We woke up, walked down the street to Gary's - a phenomenal low-key diner in the often pretentious Newport. What I loved about that breakfast and what I always love about Gary's is that you can walk in and see a completely different side of Newport... not the sailboats/cocktail parties/Jazz festival side of Newport, but the "I've lived here for 50 years and I live here year-round" side of Newport. To be clear, I'm not HATING on either side of Newport... one of the reasons I love Newport is that you get both doses of life here... you get the ultra-wealthy eating a fish sandwich next to the fisherman himself... and they get along. What I'm trying to explain is the ambiance of places like Gary's, which exist in some form in all small towns. I love that when you walk in, you can wear whatever you want and it's OK. I love that the waitress looks at you strangely when you have to look at the menu as if you didn't know what you were going to order before you walked in. I love that it's cheap.

But getting back to the story, we ate a fantastic breakfast together at Gary's alone (I had a Western Omelet Sandwich... will never forget that) and then walked back up the hill to the house and lounged around watching "In Her Shoes" with Cameron Diaz for the rest of the morning. I don't know if it was the delicious breakfast, Cameron Diaz's phenomenal "acting," or the change in vibe of our relationship, but for the entire movie I felt as if all of what had happened that day was right. The girl I was with wanted to go to Gary's and eat diner food, she wanted to watch a terrible movie and waste the morning away, and she wanted to lay down on my lap even though we were "friends." It was that morning that I will always remember being the time where I knew this "friend" was a friend no longer. And she knew it too.

So my other engagement idea was re-creating that entire morning - breakfast at Gary's, a viewing of "In Her Shoes," and the subsequent proposal. However, living in Paris and only being in the United States briefly threw a wrinkle into that idea. I wasn't going to be able to make it to Newport with her any time soon... not possible. And I didn't want to wait any more. And the romantic in me who had thought about this day for years was struggling with this reality - wait for the Gary's proposal or think of something new. Just as I was getting really frustrated, something perfect happened. My fiancee's mother offered me HER mother's engagement ring to give to her daughter. I am not big into material goods, and the whole engagement ring idea was a little difficult for me... but this was perfect. I was extremely honored that her mother felt strongly enough to make such a gesture, and I knew what I needed to do. Luckily, we were headed to spend some time after Thanksgiving in New Hampshire where the fiancee's mother and grandmother lived for years... and where the ring spent most of its days. I decided to merge my two engagement ideas. We drove to my fiancee's grandmother's house, I asked her to marry me on the street in front of the house with snow on the ground everywhere. I told her that I was marrying her, but also marrying her family. I told her that there is no part of her that I don't love, there is no part of her family that I don't love, and to honor that commitment with her grandmother's ring makes perfect sense. And then we went to Lou's Diner in downtown Hanover to celebrate, Newport Gary's style.

I never thought about proposing this way, and the Rom-Com watching sap in me thought of a million other ways. But when someone offers something to you that personal, and when you love someone so much that you don't want to wait any longer, you create your Gary's proposal no matter where you are. And now we have a new diner with a new story to add to Gary's... and it's even better than the first one.

*I had a Southwestern Breakfast Quesadilla at Lou's... chorizo, cojita cheese... delicious.*