You Can't Spell "Wait-Service" Without the "Wait"

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge pet peeve of mine: When people go to restaurants and are pissed when they have to wait for something. When you cook at home, you either microwave something and it tastes mediocre (or in the case of Hot Pockets it tastes like a pocket full of love), you cook something quick on the stove and it's uneventful, or you take some serious time to put together a COMPLETE meal and you are rewarded plentifully. Hopefully, when you go out to a restaurant where you are already going to pay more than you would for a home-cooked meal (most of the time), you would wish the staff to prepare something with a little effort. And for all of you people with absurd time-bending expectations, effort = time. I can not stand when someone orders an intricate dish (like a risotto for example) and then complains when it's been 25 minutes and their food hasn't arrived yet. Well, impatient diner, let me break it down for you. In a restaurant with 50 chairs (that's a small one), there are probably 2 or 3 people working the kitchen serving 50 people. Many times, they are preparing appetizers, entrees, and desserts fresh... if you are eating at a place worthy of respect. Your risotto takes about 15-20 minutes (if you're good) to cook just right from beginning to end, and it takes a lot of attention (i.e. stirring). In addition to that risotto, the cooks in the back have to simultaneously sear off some steaks for table 9, toss a salad for the health-conscious person who refuses to allow thyself any gastronomic pleasure, delicately fry some flounder for your buddy to the left, and do it all in a fashion that makes sure everything all comes out at the same time with some heat left in it. Thought of the day for you, impatient diner: The next time you can't focus for two minutes scrambling some eggs and watching bacon in the other pan, remember the 3 cooks that can make magic for 50 people at a time... It's ok if you have to wait a little bit... don't freak out... and if you're that hungry, eat a little snack before dinner (or lose some weight because you're probably over-indulgent... you're probably fat).

Moving on, in the second part of this post, I'm going to make an argument for the French way of service, where they intend on doing whatever they can to allow you to enjoy your evening privately, no matter how long it takes you to finish your mousse au chocolat. The biggest difference that I've noticed between American table service and French table service has to be the general protocol for the waiter-customer interaction. In the U.S., you are greeted by a host/hostess who promptly seats you or gives you a precise estimation of when your butt will be in a chair (and if they're wrong about that "15 minute wait", customer Rick, who works in Business, will be proud to express his discontent by belittling the high school hostess to prove to his wife who hates him that he is still manly in this world). In France, on the other hand, if you are told you must wait, you either get a drink at the bar or go outside and enjoy the fresh air because you realize other people might also want to dine at good restaurants... I know... a revelation. To make it simpler, I will do some comparison's (side-by-side) of the U.S. restaurant experience vs. the French restaurant experience.

U.S.A. - The server seats you and immediately asks for your drink orders

FRANCE - You are seated and aren't spoken to for the next 10 minutes so you can get settled in

U.S.A. - The server explains the specials, which are always the most expensive things on the menu

FRANCE - The server explains in detail what is in-season and any significant recent changes to the menu

U.S.A. - The server knows the name of the restaurant

FRANCE - The server knows the name of every ingredient used in every dish on the menu, and knows the name of the butcher's son who carved up your skirt steak.

U.S.A. - The server returns every 3-4 minutes to "ask you how everything is going" as if you were at a constant risk of cardiac failure

FRANCE - The server waits until you make eye contact with them to even think about bothering you during your pleasant meal with friends or family

U.S.A. - The second you finish your last bite of mashed potatoes, a bus boy flies by in one motion and swipes up your plate

FRANCE - The server gives you more bread when you are finished eating so you can sop up the extra sauce you've been eating with your finger for the last 7 minutes

U.S.A. - The check is brought to you at any point during the meal... appetizer, entree, dessert

FRANCE - The check is only brought to you upon request... and even then, the server encourages you to stay and try something else... not because they want your money, but because they acknowledge your love of food

U.S.A. - The servers are paid off tips

FRANCE - The servers receive a livable wage NOT including tips

U.S.A. - The service industry is considered a lower-level profession

FRANCE - All professionals in the restaurant industry are highly-esteemed and respected

Which one do you think that I prefer??? Upon coming to France, some Americans might think that the waitstaff at restaurants in this country are inattentive and even rude. But that's just not true. There is an emphasis on allowing the diner to do exactly what they came to the restaurant to do: eat some delicious food, talk with their friends and family, and leave when they want to. The last thing I want when I'm catching up with friends during dinner is to have someone asking me if "I'm doing alright" every 5 minutes. American waitstaff, here's a tip: I'm doing alright if the people I'm with at the table haven't called 911.